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YOU MIGHT JUST BE AN ENGINEER IF...


  • The only jokes you receive are through e-mail At Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string.

  • Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma.

  • Everyone else on the Alaskan cruise is on deck peering at the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room.

  • In college you thought Spring Break was a metal fatigue failure.

  • The salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions.

  • You are always late to meetings.

  • You are at an air show and know how fast the skydivers are falling.

  • You bought your wife a new CD-ROM for her birthday.

  • You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie.

  • You can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting.

  • You can't write unless the paper has both horizontal and vertical lines.

  • You comment to your wife that her straight hair is nice and parallel.

  • You forgot to get a haircut... for 6 months.

  • You go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backward in the chairs to see how they do the special effects.

  • You have Dilbert comics displayed anywhere in your work area.

  • You have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance.

  • You have more friends on the Internet than in real life.

  • You have never bought any new underwear or socks for yourself since you got married.

  • You have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts.

  • You know what http:\\ actually stands for.

  • You look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys.

  • You own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts.

  • You see a good design and still have to change it.

  • You spent more on your calculator than on your wedding ring.

  • You still own a slide rule and you know how to work it.

  • You think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep.

  • You wear black socks with white tennis shoes (or vice versa).

  • You window shop at Radio Shack.

  • You're in the back seat of your car, she's looking wistfully at the moon, and you're trying to locate a geosynchronous satellite.

  • You know what the geosynchronous satellite function is.

  • Your checkbook always balances.

  • Your laptop computer costs more than your car.

  • Your wife hasn't the foggiest idea what you do at work.

  • Your wristwatch has more computing power than a 300Mhz Pentium.

  • You've already calculated how much you make per second.

  • You've even tried to repair a $5 radio.


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